I was failing as a mother and then....
- Ivy Chakraborty
- May 25, 2018
- 3 min read
"I'm a mother of a toddler, usually stressed most of the time since I'm alone with him whole day, just my maid. But still whole day my baby is clinging to me so I get irritated and shout at him and leave him to cry.I feel very bad as a mother".... a young client once wrote to me. This was not at all surprising to me, neither as a counselor nor as a mother myself.
Being a mom is a tough job and first time mommas find it specially hard to handle. I have been in her place. We all have been through this. So I can say it's absolutely okay to feel this way. This phase would soon pass !! (sigh of relief )
Its okay to feel miserable. But it needs a lot of courage to be honest to yourself and reach out for help. Emotions are energy in motion and as per Chinese medicine, if it gets stuck or blocked it causes ailments both physical and emotional.To FEEL and REVEAL is to HEAL.
We are our baby's best moms because we are the only ones they have and they have no reference to compare us with. We mean the whole world to our baby. Let's enjoy that feeling for a while.
Moreover we all are energy beings and our energies are sensed by others specially children. Our anger/irritation/guilt (negative energies) may probably be picked by the kid..Which is not good as the baby is constantly imprinting and learning from his/her parents by observing.
I would like to share a few tips with all the new moms struggling with baby blues which I often suggest to the clients I coach. You may find them helpful.
1. Get some good sleep: Sleep prepares us better for the day.Your threshold for stress would increase and you can run after your kid better. Our body repairs while sleeping so immunity gets better with good sleep and you feel stronger physically & emotionally.
2. Get some physical exercise: At least a few minutes of brisk walking.Workout let's your body release the happy hormones that make you feel better.Your tenacity increases and improves your sleep patterns. You can try some breathing techniques to ease stress and sleep better.
3. Don't skip meals and keep yourself hydrated: This will provide constant fuel to the body machine and you feel less tired.
4. Meditation: Old school it may sound but it definitely works. Set aside 10 minutes in a day..preferably after waking up in the morning or before going to sleep. ..Close your eyes and bless yourself.Tell yourself how proud you are to be in your different roles of mother,wife etc . Appreciate yourself everyday for doing the best of your ability.Finish the day always by being grateful for all the good things in life.For your kid, lovely family,the house you live in,the car you drive or anything you can think of..Promise to love and accept yourself exactly the way you are.The best thing is you are trying ..That's makes you special and you are powerful enough to feel anyway you like. You will never be judged by your kid..So don't judge yourself.
5. If possible talk to someone: A heart to heart talk can often heal us a lot. It's absolutely okay to see a therapist/coach/counselor. Most of the top CEOs, businessmen and celebrities avail life coaching or counselling. Believe me it's worth spending the money for. Or else try to find your own tribe,other ladies with small children perhaps, and talk to each other. The idea is to vent out the energy stored within. You can also try writing about things on paper and tearing the pages later on. It may sound simple but writing down your feelings on paper is quite powerful. Just give it a try.
I would be happy if you find any of the tips helpful
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